Alright, I’m just checking in because I can. There’s a lot going on out in wonderland isn’t there? And I’ll get to all that, but first I just have some personal stuff to release out into the world so that it becomes less troubling to me. Why do I always feel the need to explain myself? Such a weird little insecurity…
So, first, I’m leaning toward adopting the little mutt my brother found wandering around their neighborhood. I was worried about aggressive tendencies — Stella showed just a bit of that dominance kind of thing from her Pit bloodline, but we kept it under control and it never became a problem. I just had to make sure I was aware of circumstances where she might feel the need to assert herself and so I did — and it sounds like he low growls a bit when he’s fed with my brother’s other dogs. But they assure me that’s really the only thing they see. That’s he’s fine with the other dogs otherwise, good with the cats, chill with their kid, etc. So, a little food aggression. Not uncommon. Probably workable. And everyone who knows me is encouraging me to do it. I really do live better with something to love. And dogs don’t make you compete for that kind of thing. If you’re nice to them, they’re nice to you. And there’s a part of my heart that just needs that again. Also, if I decide to do it, my brother will be coming up for a long weekend to visit and that’s almost the best part. So, more later. I’ll keep you posted.
On a different but kind of related note, I think sometimes my attempts at being nice to people I like get thwarted and turned into something ugly and I’m not totally sure how that happens. But it occurred to me yesterday that it’s difficult and confusing to me to see people I like get treated kind of shabbily — especially if they’re a willing participant because whatever gain they get makes it a good tradeoff for them — and it is particularly difficult when I can’t really say anything about it because it’s none of my business. I’m a huge believer in letting adults make their own decisions, and I try to be there for them if they need me. It’s just incredibly frustrating when your hope for good things gets translated into hope for failure. Also when you get treated less than admirably because the shabby behavior has a way of leaking out and affecting other relationships. This is why I run, people. Sometimes it’s just too familiar and I know the eventual outcome and I don’t want radiation sickness from the nuke that will ultimately be dropped. This very likely makes me selfish. And maybe it’s about time I was. But another part of me is really just annoyed that sometimes people would prefer to see you as a bitch rather than someone who just cares. Because it makes it easier on them. And that just kinds stinks.
But on a better note, I got a compliment yesterday that was both great and also hard to hear. A boyfriend of a friend of mine told me that he knew how loyal I was — how important that particular quality was to me — and how much I expected it of other people. “You won’t stand for being treated disloyally,” he said. I mean, he’s right. And I like that loyalty is important to me. And yes, reciprocity in relationships, to me, is necessary. But not standing for it when people make mistakes? I’m not sure that’s totally true. But it seems to be the reputation I have and I’m not really comfortable with it.
Okay, on the subject of whether or not our current administration is truly just incompetent or if the plan is to weaken us as a nation, I have some thoughts because I do think it’s extremely important what with this and this and this happening. People I respect believe that like a good progressive, Obama believes that the US is a better — more popular = better in his mind — US when it’s less neocon and aggressive and more a world team player. And I can agree that this is indeed true. But that apology touring and weakening of our military capability doesn’t really benefit Obama and I think at heart he is an opportunist, not an idealist. So he’s looking for some kind of win, as opportunists do. So I couldn’t really figure out what he gained from making us weaker militarily and economically while ostensibly making us more popular (which of course is just hilariously laughable because we are admired less now than we were under Bush without question). But then the co-worker/boss cleared it up for me: you know how in academia it’s all about currying favor with the professor and that’s how you get the good grade? The kids who do the good work don’t even come out as clean and ranked as high as the ones who kiss a little ass in today’s academic climate. Well, this is the environment that Obama and the educated elite he has surrounding him have come out of and they are at a disadvantage because they really don’t know any other system. The problem is, Putin and Assad really don’t care about your brown nosing. They’ll take it of course, if it gets them what they want, but they won’t give you the good grade for being obsequious. And human beings really don’t like arrogance as a general rule. They may respect it to a degree or some dark part of them may enjoy the nastiness that goes along with it, but they don’t really like it. And there are some who will take any opportunity to wipe that over-indulgent grin off your overly-confident face. I really do keep seeing Ellis from Die Hard over and over in my head. And we all know what happens to him.
Okay, other stuff and things:
I told my Pops that Kerry had initially declined to appear and my Pops said, “Someone must have told him he’d go to jail.” Heh. See what I mean about arrogance?
The G-File is just a good read. And Jonah hits on something that seems to be a theme — Carney is a confident liar but not a very good one. There’s something very disconcerting about people in real life with important jobs who are trying to be evil geniuses but end up being like Dr. Horrible.
Speaking of Benghazi, this is an interesting read but I maintain that there was a reason they felt the need for a coverup and I expect the select committee will be revealing what that is by the end of its work.
The Atlantic takes shit too seriously sometimes. They weren’t shoddily made in 1977. They were cutting edge. Short memories may be the worst thing about this disposable age we live in.
I’m telling you, Justice Roberts was a genius on this one. I think he knew exactly what he was doing by declaring it a tax.
Well I mean of course. “Do no evil.”
Okay war strategy/English nerds, read this. Let me know what you think.
Ah, yes, all of this is totally true. Every writer is a procrastinator. Comes with the territory. I love this. Hard.
4:04 p.m. A confession? I fucking hate Candy Crush once you get past the Minty Meadow. It’s too hard, but there’s no skill involved. It’s at once incredibly tedious and taxing, and yet there’s very little reward for it. You try and try and try and try and you work and work and work and you tell the whole goddamn world to go fuck itself, and you know what you have to show for it in the end? A fucking headache. You have the illusion of accomplishment, but really? You aren’t doing shit. You’re pretending that you’re accomplishing something, that’s all.
What do you mean, is that a metaphor?
What’s with the History Channel’s marketing for the World Wars retrospective. Let’s not absolve Hitler of his responsibility for being a brutal fascist, shall we not? Just look it up. It’s in the metro stations in DC by the Pentagon if you’re curious.
Hahaha, excellent. Now imagine the dude cries to your family about you saying things that made him feel bad. Because welcome to my world. And I think sensitive penis covers it nicely.
Finally, YES. I know them all. And #1 can suck it.
1. The Overly Competitive Asshole
Whether he was cut from the single A team or just a guy trying to recapture his college/high school glory years, this guy plays to win. Every bad call by the ump is punctured by this guy’s guttural, rage-filled scream, as he lets everybody within a 1 mile radius know that he disagrees with the decision. He’s got a glove from 12 years ago that he loves more than his mother, and he always brings a duffel bag full of expensive composite bats and cleats that you aren’t allowed to use.
He will insist on doing the team’s lineup, and since it’s such a chore, the rest of the team lets him have it. God forbid if you screw up fielding a grounder or hit a pop fly. The Overly Competitive Asshole will take note. And he never forgets. You will definitely be batting last next game.
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