Okay man people have been acting straight up crazy the last few days. Seriously, I don’t know what to do about it. Unfortunately, when you’re a girl, you get the overflow frustration from men who are actually mad at other women. I’m pretty sure I’m right since I lived a lot of it growing up with brothers who tended to date very beautiful, very vain, very selfish girls. I was often the safe alternative to yell at when they were trying to negotiate some issue with these ladies without wanting to irreparably damage the relationship (because the dance, or whatever, was coming up so you gotta have the beautiful date, right?). When I was very young I didn’t understand it. But as I grew older I started to notice a correlation. I remember one time, one of my brothers was going through a particularly nasty break-up and he had pretty well pissed off everyone else in the family because everyone was like, “dude, she’s a harpy” and he didn’t want to hear that and so, at the time, I was the only one still taking to him. He and I started hashing out some things over the phone, which quickly turned into an absolute condemnation of all my flaws and ones that weren’t mine, which confused me, until he called me by the harpy’s name. Lightbulb. Anyway, that’s been happening again from a couple of different areas of my life. I was trying to explain to my dad that, while I think women do it to men as well (think Miss Havisham from Great Expectations), women get it particularly harshly in the other direction because men tend to be in a better position to bully women than women are to bully men. Not always, but probably more frequently. Pops didn’t want to hear that. He doesn’t like discussion of how it’s a man’s world. But it really is. It’s all okay though. I’m standing tall and trying not to cry about it. But I did have to call my daddy…
Okay, I have to work on some website bidness so I have to run. I think Corey is formulating a happy hour plan, which should be nice given the weirdness of the last couple of days, and the fact that all this cold is making my foot ache (awww…). But here are a few things to consider should you care:
Fascinating piece. One thing I asked my Pops today was if he thought people always married within their own “caste”. Hate to use that word but it applies. He said no. That maturity didn’t belong to a class and that people of any station in life, if they were thinking about the right things regarding relationships (loyalty, how the two people get along, common interests, etc.), considered those things paramount. Of course, the flipside is that immaturity also has the distinction of not belonging to just one class. Now don’t get me wrong — I like wealth. I adore the things you can do with it and have, on principle, no problem with anybody using it and their connections to get ahead. But, like the writer, I do question the maturity of people who hem and haw about the elite while excluding themselves and their social circle.
Yet I cannot help being struck by the disjunction between her attitude toward conservative elites and her attitude toward herself, toward her own part of the upper crust. I cannot help being struck by the unknowingness with which she and her guests establish categories such as “rich” and “elite” that exclude everyone they know.
I guess for a great many people, it really is all about the benjamins. That’s cool. I’m sure they’ll be happy at the top, and good for them. But maybe shut up a little with the sanctimony and the complaints about…well, hell…anything. Because, seriously, when you complain that it’s so cold that you can’t go out on the yacht this weekend or some such freaking nonsense you really have no idea how ridiculous you look. And I’m embarrassed for you and it makes me uncomfortable.
Well done Facebook. Don’t let em push you around…
Okay look, because it led to one of the aforementioned crazy behaviors, I’m just going to address it, I’m sorry if it offends you (because I like you and I don’t want to hurt your feelings), but if you play Candy Crush or any variation thereof, you are a sucker. Period. You are basically moving us all as a species in the direction of the human race in Wall-E. And that just annoys me. Sorry not sorry.
The mechanism isn’t exactly the same, of course. My character doesn’t have stats to advance — I don’t even really have a character! But the basic principle of engaging a in repetitive behavior for hours and hours until you can finally make some progress, is exactly the same. And suddenly the half-bored, trance-like state in which I play most rounds of Candy Crush these days makes all the sense in the world. And although Candy Crush has been compared, unfavorably, to a slot machine, I realized something else: in that dogged persistence actually will alter the odds in your favor, Candy Crush is less like an actual slot machine and more like the game that slot machine addicts think they are playing. “This machine is gonna pay out soon. I can tell.” And it actually will! Well, not pay out, exactly. But it’ll let me win. Brightly flashing lights, bells that go bingley-bongley-boop. Endorphins. All that jazz.
Think I’ve posted this before, but I like it so much, here it is again. It’s all in the ‘r’.
COULD NOT AGREE MORE. Because this:
I do not mean to speak badly of the good intentions of those who espouse this latter-day theory of racism and who sincerely wish to solve a set of problems they believe are both real and incredibly urgent; nor am I to suggest that racism is not a real and dangerous thing that still exists in society, for it plainly is. Nevertheless, I am often struck by how foregone are so many discussions that revolve around racism and racial matters, and how these discussions by their nature demand that a single thing—many if not all people are racist, unconsciously or subconsciously—be acknowledged before they can proceed.
Seems appropriate today. Enjoy the weekend my loves.