Hey y’all. Almost done with the Christmas shopping. I have my cookies for my care packages decided upon — my ninjamen cookie cutters are in the mail. Now I just need to mail my Christmas cards this week and I’m in good shape. I’m coming off an epiphany and I only have a few minutes to write because I have other things to do that actually garner me resources to eat and pay my bills. But while I’m gnoshing on this egg salad sammie, let’s have a chat.
I discovered last night that my spiritual doppleganger is Vince Vaughn. Maybe I think that because I just watched The Watch (Good stuff. Shame it coincided with the Trayvon Martin case because it’s actually hilarious and more Americans need to familiarize themselves with Richard Ayoade, like, yesterday). But I just think that Vince and I share a tendency to call bullsh*t when we see it — and maybe feel a little bad about it later.
See, I came across this piece yesterday and, seriously, I thought, despite the URL destination, it was a link to an Onion piece. I still don’t know what a locavore is and I refuse to look it up. (Okay I just did. I wish I hadn’t. Groups, groups, cliques, cliques, isms, isms, isms…). My initial reaction was to crack up at the absolute hilarious irony of self-described former tree-hugging vegetarians discovering (because no one knew this before the hipsters brilliantly figured it out) that hunting a) doesn’t make you evil and b) is actually good for the environment. I sent it to a friend of mine who thought it was funny, too, but told me “maybe [I] need to lighten up.” !!!!!
Turns out he was right. My friend maintains that hipster hunters probably aren’t the same people who have made people feel shamed and bad about being backwoods, redneck animal haters. And while I’ll acknowledge they’re probably not PETA members, I feel fairly certain that many of them were in the grocery aisle eyeing my nutter butters and deli fried chicken with obvious disdain. Or running around telling people how ashamed they are of being from the South because that hunting culture just never sat well with them. But my friend has a good point — this kind of stuff should really only be snickered at, not worried over. It’s going to be hard for me to reconcile that they can just decide one day that something they’ve made people feel really, really horrible for doing (ahem, Sarah Palin) is okay and they never have to acknowledge that they were awful in their judgment and, God forbid, actually publicly apologize. But hey, they’re learning. And I guess we can be happy about that. Can’t you just hear Vince Vaughn saying that entire paragraph aloud, running about 20 words/sec? I can… Anyway, I’m really looking forward to getting back South for a little while and getting a bit softer because that’s what’s bugging me the most. I don’t want to live that cynical all the time. I want more of this. Getting back to the pines and folks who say good morning and yes ma’am and sweet tea and lazy drawls should smooth my edges a bit. And I’ll try real hard to lighten up. But — and here’s the epiphany — I’m not sure I can talk to people who don’t think hipster hunters isn’t at least marginally hilarious. I’ve always prided myself on reaching across that aisle but my Lord…you’re just missing something if you don’t get why that’s funny.
Nothing better than a good movie soundtrack.
Thanks Coach. This is just good fun…
This is what I’m talking about Charles — “male feminists”? What the hell does that even mean? I know I need to lighten up but my God how do you do that in the face of this kind of nonsense? I think I need to drink more. I think that’s actually how people who say they understand this stuff make it through the day…And I’m not even being snarky…
I need more of this, too. Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous…
It’s the new normal. The kids are running the playground. But, as Greg Gutfeld notes, they always screw up. Cause they’re kids. So, get ready to clean up in a few years…Sigh.
Ode to Joy indeed.
Gah, no. Just no. Making kids dumber and calling it smarter is bad, bad, bad…
For the hipster hunters during this holiday season. I give them this: they can like good music.
Worth a listen. Especially the Rat Pack album. But here’s one of my faves:
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