I feel like crying today and I don’t know why. I think it’s because I’m missing everyone I love. I don’t like being away from them although I accept it’s necessary. And sometimes it makes me feel sad. But it’s tempered with the knowledge that the only reason it stings is because there’s love there and, well, that’s just tremendous isn’t it? How lucky I am to be able to have it and give it. And sometimes all those things — all those past hurts and fights and disagreements — I just want to throw out the window and replace them with words of love and joy and future hilarity and cocktails and dancing etc. etc. But people need those blankets of familiarity I guess — those parameters. And so, out of love I will keep them, too. But the minute you’re willing to toss them let me know. Cause they’re heavy and I’m tired of carrying them.
Anyway, I don’t have much except that one of my good friends made me cry Friday because he thinks I’m too judgmental. Meh. I just want better for him than hook ups with hoodrats and I guess that makes him feel pressured. But I won’t stop thinking better of you. Please stop making me cry.
This was a good read on the train out to Arlington and Ashley’s pool yesterday. For obvious reasons. It’s always more complicated than it seems. Always. Once you understand that, things get pretty simple. Weird.
They say that a man is set apart by how he uses “the power which the strong have over the weak . . . the educated over the unlettered. . . . The forbearing or inoffensive use of this power or authority, or a total abstinence from it when the case admits it, will show the gentleman in a plain light. . . . He can not only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past. A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.”
We have a game tonight on by the Washington Monument. I’m thinking we’ll play since we’ve had to reschedule a few games already and Charles says he may cry if we have to reschedule another. So, unless it’s monsoon time, come see us.
Also, despite not having made one game this year and the fact that apparently no one can beat the Yankees (okay fine Ashley. You win. They are good. Satisfied?), I’m finally getting to go to some baseball games in July. And then I think at least one make-up game in August. All I know is I’m in withdrawal and disoriented…
Ashley’s coming to our tournament in August just to be supportive and look at hot dudes. I told her for $30 you can spend a weekend drinking free beer, eating free food, and talking to cute boys in baseball pants. She signed up immediately and wants to wear her bikini. Love that kid.
I broke this album out last week. Forgot how much I liked it. Have the best tracks to start your week…