Aw man, shit. So, because I’ve been honest in my assessment (the horror) lately of what I think of feminism and, more interesting to me, of young women who bow to the current culture Gods when deciding what is appropriate behavior for the modern gal just trying to make her way through life, it seems that I’m being bombarded by images of proud breasts (I’ve never seen so much cleavage in my life. Except every day when I LOOK IN THE MIRROR. I am indifferent to your boobs because, see, I have my own. And they’re pretty good ones, too. Ah, but that indifference is really not what you’re going for, is it? Which is actually the point I’ve tried to make and maybe I can clear this up a bit further down the page…), defiant stories of why women should be encouraged to have abortions, and subliminal and digital nods to the fact that embracing an, um, all-inclusive (?) approach to sexuality is the winning ticket in life. Sigh.
To clarify: you want to shake your business for the world to see? Roll, honey. I was actually pretty friendly with a female stripper (part-time) in college that I had a class with. Did I think less of her for her job? No. She was a cool girl. Did I find it sad that for all the making up she did to go on stage and all the talk of making money and how fun, fun, fun that work was, she appeared to have a complete and utter disdain (if not outright disgust) for the male of the species? Yes. I found that tremendously sad. So did the guy that loved her.
You want to hang from the rafters (literal or virtual) and let dudes know that you are one sexy little kitten that is just ACHING to be stroked? Hang away. I’ve had a front row seat for this little drama, too. It involved trapezes and suicidal husbands and emotional affairs and divorces. It broke my heart and broke up families.
You want to set yourself in competition all “Mean Girls” style where only the vampiest and bitchiest girl wins, and if that means being heartless and cruel it’s all part of the game because the prize is…what, exactly? Attention? Because I’m pretty sure love doesn’t work like that. As a matter of fact, as someone who actually loves quite well and has been loved in return, I’m 100 percent positive it doesn’t.
So, yes, attention. Let’s talk about that a second. Look, I like to be all sexy and hot and whatever. I like the way my butt looks in some of my jeans, the way heels give shape to my legs, the way certain necklines frame other assets I was lucky enough to inherit, and the way some of my dresses cling to my waist and hips. I get it. And I definitely dig when a man notices. But I think what makes it more delicious is when I’m not trying to get that attention — and I get it anyway. Or when I don’t advertise how much I like a good romp (ahem) but a man still finds me intriguing to talk to or even just look at. (I know. Wonders never cease.)
And I don’t think it’s hot to use sexuality — like my stripper friend from college — to make a buck or control a situation. I think it takes the absolute joy out of the act to approach it in any way other than from a place of desire, preferably with some love and affection thrown in for good measure.
As for abortion, don’t believe it’s a good. Wouldn’t do it. Do I judge women who have come to the conclusion it was their only option? No, I do not. Do I believe it should be legislated and/or subsidized? No, I do not. I have said this many times and so will again — a woman’s decision to terminate a pregnancy is between her and the force of nature that compels the birth. Some (like me) believe that force is tied directly to a higher consciousness. But there’s little doubt that life wants to procreate. So even if it’s just a “natural” law, a law it is. And choosing to break that law is an individual hell or heaven I wouldn’t begin to try to interfere in.
And that, sisters, is how I roll.
Try not to judge me for it.
Putting away a few childish things over here so I may sound a little grumpy in the next several posts. But this too shall pass as a very good book puts it. Until then, and as always, a few diversions:
This dance looks like nothing but fun to dance. I love the weirdness of the movement. I may steal some of this choreography…
Fantastic article. Fantastic. Get right with it atheists — you are among some of the most fanatic and extreme true believers around.
Nice. I’m not sure I’ll be investing in an iPhone but I love this app. An ex — same one who used to try to gaslight me all the time. Ass. — was an amateur photographer and he taught me the rule of thirds, which actually is the Golden Ratio view as well. When setting up a shot, it is the most effective way of getting a great picture and at least he gave me that.
I’ll try to give them all at least a cursory listen. I fear the “maudlin music of the University station” (I heart you Cher Horowitz) but SXSW tends to mix it up so perhaps there’s a gem or three in here somewhere…
Huh. This could eventually be very cool. But I wonder if there will be any weird side-effect to having a magnetic field pulsing out a charge from next to your coffee maker every day, all day long.
I’ve been watching movies again like I used to when I was younger — which is to say when I’m home and not reading, rather than television, I’m watching films — and I recently watched One for the Money. I liked it. It wasn’t a cinematic masterpiece or anything but it was fun and lighthearted and had some soul and didn’t make me want to slit my wrists over the tragedy that is life like other films of the non-children’s persuasion I’ve seen lately. Also, I could pretty much watch Jason O’Mara clean grease traps behind an Applebee’s and be turned on. I have a thing for physically intense, curly-haired, blue-eyed Irishmen. True story.
I like this band. The whole album’s pretty good, too. I mean, I don’t RELATE to this band. But I find the music…well, fun. Also, Janelle Monae is based out of the ATL and my hometown always gets a shout out from me.