“Since when has being cheap counted as ’empowerment’?…Hey, I’m all for getting in touch with the ‘inner goddess’ by pole dancing your way to a ‘new you’, but you can’t get lobster thermidore out of a can of tuna. Get a life.” ~ A Heartless Bitch named Lola
“That’s just bimbo talk.” ~ Pops
The above two quotes, which represent two of my new favorites (you knew I collected these things, yes?), are perfect examples of why I’m a traitor to my gender. At least in the modern telling of what counts as female empowerment. Because while I try not to judge women too harshly for getting in touch with their power and sexuality (or whatever. And, as an aside, putting it out there for the world to see? I mean come on — don’t you keep the most precious and powerful things you have protected? Or is that just me…?), often they are just bowing down to the latest fad that’s marketed with a pretty neon sign with an arrow that says “Feminism!” Bah. Think for yourselves ladies. Because let me be clear: lying to yourself about what’s acceptable if it runs counter to your own judgment and understanding of your physical uniqueness as a woman — regardless if it’s what everyone else in your group of Joneses thinks is acceptable — so you can get the goodies from a dude is pretty much just being the chick in the video below once you strip away all the “empowerment” rhetoric. And being that chick = lame. Even Eddie Murphy thinks so. Also, that above sentence…grammatically correct. Boom.