The next few posts will be open letters to a few of the “gentlemen” I’ve encountered over the last several weeks. Just because I play like a boy doesn’t mean I am one.
To the Mount St. Mary A**hole: One of my teammates said he didn’t think it was intentional but we know different, don’t we buddy? You discovered probably some time ago that is was legal to let a 5’7″, 145 lb girl run into your 6’3″, 210 (220?) lb frame at top speed while looking the other way down field for a potential pass. One of the commissioners informed me yesterday while reffing the Auburn/Tufts game that yes, you can watch someone come at you and just let them run into to you legally even if they are never even aware of your presence. Never mind that you have 8 inches and 70 lbs on HER. She already proved she could catch the ball and therefore must be dealt with accordingly, despite your team already having the win due to a forfeit from lack of female players. So you chose the only way of “hitting” someone available to you in a non-contact league. I’m an athlete and a dancer and have been my whole life. I rarely feel like my body is totally out of my control. In fact, I’ve felt that way only twice: the first was when I was about 10 and I came around a blind corner in my neighborhood on my bike and ran into a Jeep Cherokee that was rolling to a stop at the stop sign. I came off my bike onto the hood of the car and rolled onto the street on the passenger side. I literally did not know what hit me, or what I hit more appropriately. It’s a scary feeling. The second was yesterday because I’m pretty sure I was running at an angle and you just stood there, feet planted, and let me come. When I bounced off you both feet left the ground and when I hit I jammed my knee so hard into the ground I thought I might have cracked the kneecap. I find it interesting that your team was so taken aback by my immediate reaction of cursing a blue streak at a fairly high volume (ahem). I’m not one to roll around on the ground moaning. I think if I was ever shot I’d be one of those freaks that keeps on running and starts looking around for a weapon. My adrenaline just goes through the roof to the degree that I didn’t even feel any pain until much later when I started to cool down and realized my knee hurt like hell. But I’m sure your team has seen and sanctioned this little strategy from you before (and your teammate, who tried the same thing on me the play prior, but I only managed to run into his leg. I had no idea what was coming, did I? I guess you guys showed me). Your quarterback told me after the game that they didn’t see anything, just heard me cursing. There’s something about that that pleases me. There was also something tremendously satisfying about coming at you face-first at top speed the next play only to see you turn and start to run away like all big wussies do when confronted with someone not afraid to give them a little bit of their own bullsh*t. You ran away from a girl. Didn’t like it so much when I could see you, did you? How’s that feel big guy? Indeed, you only stopped running because my teammate stepped in between us to stop my momentum and remind me that this was non-contact. I wish someone on your team had the same presence of mind and respect for the game. (And I appreciate the effort Bay but you needn’t have worried. I wasn’t going to attempt to tackle him or hit him or run into him or touch him in any way. I just wanted to see the big ass run. So I guess I got that satisfaction. Have I mentioned before the “raised with 4 brothers in Georgia” thing? You saw it yesterday.)
The swelling is going down this morning and the limp is subsiding so I think it’s just a nasty bruise (although my calf muscle feels really tight, oddly). Oh yeah, the bump/bruise on my right ear and head where my turned head hit your shoulder and then the ground are also not as painful today. So, you’ll be pleased (?) to know there’s no serious damage. But, as I’ve reffed several games now and played in even more, I’m surprised I don’t see others using your handy little tactic of flattening people because I’m sure other refs (obviously not the ones in our game. How silly of me to think such a thing.) would call some stupid, unnecessary sh*t like that. I know I would.
Anyway, your behavior and your subsequent giggling and general douchiness bring you to a whole other level of dickhead. Stay strong. There are other women out there who need to be shown a thing or two.