The above represents my day; specifically, I wore my glasses to work today. This is something that makes me a little shaky on my feet and has prompted me in the past to request that work folk and friends, should they see me in my glasses, do a quick “blindness” check to make sure my sweater’s not on inside out and that my makeup doesn’t make me look like Bette Davis in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” But a friend who I recently discovered lives in my hood wants to potentially grab a cocktail later so things could get better. She’s a good egg who also likes to talk about boys so, there’s that.
Now for a football analogy: On my little flag team, I’m better on defense. I can block, rush the QB, keep defenders away from our offense, force a bad throw, etc. etc. I don’t totally stink on offense, it’s just that I have small hands and I know it, so catching a short pass with the standard “triangle hands” seems — in the heat of the moment — less effective to my little brain than trying to cradle it into my body. Problem with that is, of course, footballs like to bounce off bodies so I’ll miss a pass frequently enough to be frustrated. And I am exceptionally hard on myself; I think so that when others are hard on me it seems gentle by comparison. All this got me to thinking: I’m more of a defensive player in life as well. I can block and protect and defend from an offensive attack all day long. And pretty effectively. But my offensive strategy needs works — primarily because I’m afraid that the tried and true tactics that everyone uses and that generally get the job done won’t work for me because I’m somehow fundamentally different (never mind how silly a thought that is…). So, that said, I’m either going to have to take the risk and employ some of those proven offensive tactics or else get better at stabilizing an awkward catch. Not sure what all this means but I know my Dad is probably grinning at the sports metaphor. Anyway. Being scared is stupid and leads to failure AND regret. Taking the risk might lead to failure, and you may get a football in the face, but you’ll probably be fine more times than not and your QB will think better of you for trying.
My favorite conversation this week:
Me: I’m with Dave. Really unclear on the point of the Occupy Wall Street protest. “We’re really irritated at something!” http://t.co/LviUBBHs
The Coach: Clearly you haven’t seen this: http://occupywallst.org/forum/proposed-list-of-demands-for-occupy-wall-st-moveme/
They’re not asking for much!
Me: Oh for goodness sake. So, when I was a kid, my brother bootlegged some Steve Martin standup comedy tapes and my sister and I used to sneak in his room and listen to them out of earshot of the folks (we were little and they were concerned about the language. Lot of good it did…) There was this one called “Cruel Shoes” (I think) where he does this bit about how everyone these days (1980-ish) had hostages and he wants some, too. Because he wants to make some demands and needs something to negotiate with. And he makes the point that you have to make foolish demands so the others will appear rational by comparison. His are: he wants to be the all-being of time, space, and dimension. Next, he wants the letter M stricken from the English language. Then, he wants to go to Europe.
That’s what this reminds me of. So, that said, I’d say what they’re really after is in there somewhere and probably has to do with number 2. Yawn.
Me: pretty sure it was a reading of this. check out the titles of the vignettes. I forgot how awesome it was…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cruel_Shoes
The Coach: I think my favorite part is how some of the demands are completely contradictory to each other. We’re going to impose massive tariffs on foreign goods, but we’re going to do away with all borders. So, you can go wherever you want, you just can’t take anything with you.
Minimum wage of $20 an hour, whether you work or not, and immediate debt forgiveness. Although to be fair, it’s a lot easier to pay everyone $20 an hour when it’s Monopoly money.
Me: Monopoly money is exactly right. These are my faves:
“Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.
Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America’s nuclear power plants.”
It’s so Dr. Evil and arbitrary. I love it.
The Coach: They might as well be asking for one billion…gagillion…fafillion…shabadoodlooillion…million…yen.
The new landlords have turned out to be pretty cool and the little one seems to have finally accepted that things are different. She’s stopped crying all the time. All the change probably had her disoriented. Anyway, this morning they were playing this song upstairs and I was totally grooving to it as I got ready. I couldn’t see anything, but I was grooving.