So, I was kinda sick yesterday and, in between all the sleeping and sneezing and fretting over the work I wasn’t getting done, I watched a few funny movies and laid around and did some thinking. Also, I baked a sticky chocolate cake because I tend to cook when I’m bored. Digressing…So what I came to, because recently I’ve been seeing headlines about Obama being too depressed to run for office again, is that it’s a very difficult and painful thing to watch a man — or woman for that matter — have to come to grips with their inadequacies and poor choices. Now, take these headlines with a huge grain of salt but I’d wager the man is getting reflective as his poll numbers drop and his frenemies start writing this kind of stuff.
Anyone who’s ever watched a friend or loved one make bad life choices knows what I’m talking about here. Or, as is more the case personally, had to suffer through a colleague’s bad decision at work — not really a loved one but someone whose behavior affects you nonetheless. It’s tortuous and frustrating and always leaves you with that feeling of “Seriously, are you blind man?” I really don’t enjoy that feeling.
But the worst slash best slash worst again is when they have those rare moments of clarity — when they let themselves see the forest instead of the trees, or allow the guilt and responsibility they should have always been feeling finally wash over them for a few minutes. That’s like watching a man (or woman) drown. It is why most people prefer simply to feel nothing and enjoy the sorrow of someone whose lesson has been learned, even if just for a few moments.
I sometimes wish I could be that way. But that kind of painful self-awareness is never a pleasant thing to witness. And I believe I’m seeing it now with Obama, as I have seen it in other ways, and with other people, over the course of my life.
I do not pretend his moment of self-awareness will last, or that there will be a net positive resulting from his personal crisis. And the cynic in me wants to sniff and be all, “Yeah, right. Political ploy to test the temp of the voters #873.” And that the moment will last just long enough for him to see some other way to affect his ultimate goal of self-aggrandizement at the expense of the country. But it is nice to know that basic humanity is, at least so far, indestructible in that we all feel vulnerable sometimes. Let yourself feel it sir. It’s trying to tell you something.
For the funny, a friend posted this the other day and I had never seen it and by God if Johnmire didn’t immediately pop into my head because a) he’s our flag football QB, b) he packs heat for work, and c) he would totally do this if he thought he could get away with it. It sounds like I think that’s a bad thing but it really just makes me laugh. I’m twisted like that. Also, kidding Johnmire. Please don’t yell at me this weekend…
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