Hi! So, for a few years in High School there was this girl who was really mean to me for no reason and worked really hard to get everyone to hate me (in fairness, I inadvertently helped make her job easier by introverting and acting all hurt and stupid all the time) because I think — and I can’t be sure of this because none of it ever really made sense to me but the spoils of her “victory” appeared related to this — she saw me as competition. Yeah, High School was dumb. I’m so glad things aren’t like that anymore.
Anyway, here’s a recap of the Colbert FEC thing I attempted to attend yesterday. Attempted is the key word there. I waited for about an hour in a line stretching down the block and it was totally my fault because I stepped out of line to make a phone call and, when they came out and stated they were full-up, I noticed that the folks I had been standing behind before I stepped out of line were long through the door. They began herding folks into another section so technically I could have still attended but at that point I was more focused on the other work obligations I had made for the day so I cut my losses and came into the office. I was briefed by one of my co-workers upon crossing the office threshold that the whole thing had been exceedingly anti-climactic. 15 minutes of talking and Colbert “won” his media exemption for Viacom. You can read here why the win is really anything but. Unless you consider that Colbert, as was mentioned to me this morning, is really just in it for the money. Which brings me to my first real insight on the situation:
If he is just in it for the money — and it would appear that is the case because he’s actually doing damage to the progressive cause he purports to stand for (out of character) — seriously, read this — then maybe you kids shouldn’t take the punditry seriously. I know it feels like you’re being very clever because you can say that the flopping back and forth from comedian to pundit, from ha-ha to serious, is at your whim and that’s the genius of it. But those are the soft victories of children, pretty meaningless in the long run and prone to causing damage. Again, please read this.
My other insight is just one of human nature, both from a personal perspective and as a third-party observer. For a minute, when it was announced they were shutting the doors to the main room, I felt that weird “I didn’t get in…” shame. I was not counted among the popular kids. Yeah, I know. No further narrative is required to explain how ridiculous that is.
Also, while waiting in line, a young girl ahead of me — who made it through the doors, by the way — who had been anxiously watching the press on the street and the tinted-windowed SUVs in front of the building in the hopes that Colbert would get close enough for her to “touch him,” was approached by a journalist from National Journal Magazine. As a former reporter, it’s always interesting to watch how some journalists lead their sources down the primrose path and this particular journalist just had this kid eating out of her understanding hands. “Do you know why he’s here today?” the journalist asked.
I won’t go into her response. You’ve heard it before. Suffice to say, she had no clue. And perhaps Colbert has been successful in opening up a new world to her — I doubt she would have visited the FEC otherwise. So, there’s that glint of silver. I just wish in opening up the door he didn’t crowd the entryway with a ton of bullshit these kids have to step over to actually know what’s going on. And, I’m spent. Saving my energy to visit the National Harbor tomorrow and do some log rolling. You think I’m kidding, don’t you? Never underestimate…
Happy Fourth ya’ll. I’m attending a feast where my jalapeno cornbread was actually requested. It’s the little things man. For real.
Also, danced to this last night. It was glorious.