Archive for July, 2011

Yeah, I got nothin. I’m pretty crazy with the work and also it’s so hot outside I can barely be bothered to move much less think (unless I’m being paid for it). So, I give you the following email from the coach regarding our tournament next weekend (the perfect statement to illustrate why I love people from Louisiana specifically and from the South generally. For the same reason Miss Mellie married Ashley Wilkes — we understand each other).

I got an e-mail from the LSU coach specifically asking if they could set up shop next to us at the tournament. I told them hell yes they could. It’s going to be epic.

Also, an old and dear newsman friend and I are reminiscing the Atlanta punk scene of the 1980s. I was too young to enjoy it at the time but I remember that it was happening because the skate rats in the hood started listening to songs like the following in the street while practicing their ollies.

Don’t run over your neighbor this weekend.

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We’ve had some questionable calls that also led to wins for us in my league this season as well. You never like it. But you’ll take it every time. And my God do I love a good play at the plate. Go Braves!

Does anyone else still think it’s hilarious that Bob Saget is hilarious? I follow him on Twitter and he routinely makes me giggle. He’s a Full House of awesome. See what I did there?

Is this a good? (h/t the Fabulous Miss L)

Have I mentioned that I love Klosterman? Because I do. Who the hell else writes about Edgar Winter’s finest nine minutes? Except my sister Juli that is…

Next in line for devouring because of the simple logic of this article. Then I need something funny. I’ll take suggestions. I love a good funny book. I actually thought about Catch-22 because I’ve never actually read it…

Should I? I totally should. Greatest newsletter sign-up ever.

This song has been stuck in my head for the past week. I wake up singing it. I wonder what it means…

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Interesting weekend. Some things were broken, others fixed, and still others put in a holding pattern until I can figure out the proper response. Highlight: finding out how to get the card that grants me access to the Reading Room at the Library of Congress and flipcup at a white party that resulted in zero stains on my new white dress. Depths of hell: the cab ride to DuPont Circle Saturday night and almost passing out from dehydration and heat exhaustion while walking in heat that topped out at just over 100 degrees on the Mall.

So many lessons learned. You can just battle and battle and battle but some things will be dealt with. It is the way of faith and physics. Speaking of, Hancock is a great, underrated movie. I watched it again last night and it makes some pretty subtle points about relationships using larger-than-life characters. Superheroes, Gods, angels, depending on the time frame that interests you (according to the characters anyway). In any event, I like it. Takeaway line: “I have put up with your bullshit for the last 3,000 years…”

I never could decide exactly how I felt about all this but let the scramble begin!

This — this right here — is why I’m a fan of Tennessee. And I know those who express resentment about being from there. Stupid. (h/t The Icon)

Good Lord, let it go man.

Sad. But we all knew it was coming and so it has. I feel some relief for her honestly.

A friend and his voice over work on a video that has become very relevant to me professionally — and even personally because there’s ostensibly $50 riding on its veracity. That is, of course, if circumstances allow for the debt to be paid…

Finally, because I was asked to help someone back out of some disastrous Dreamweaver tinkering last week, I give you a video that circulated pretty heavily in the UGA IT department. Not because we identified or anything. Promise.

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The good

If you know me, and you hear me complain that it’s been hard here in DC since I moved, that I don’t feel like I’m making friends and that the almost unceasing competitiveness of this city brings out the worst in people when they’re feeling weak, remind me of the following exchange and call me on that negative nonsense:

Me: “Hi — if I needed your help for something, nothing crazy or backbreaking, could I ask?”
My Friend: “of course”
Me: “Thanks kid…I’m just weak and need a partner in strength…I love you for this.”
MF: “Cool, keep me posted”

That’s it. No questions to determine any details that might reveal inconvenience that would lead to a different willingness. Just an affirmative with a “I’m here for ya” tone. I drained a golden glass in celebration of this. I think that was the right thing to do.

The photo my brother sent me has inspired me to get back to my roots (heh). I hope you all recognize me when you see me again…

Also, amen and hallelujah (h/t J. Davis). Even if you think it’s all archetype and fairy tale — and I admit to having those crises in faith often — there is this:

I did not choose to devote my life to Jesus because I was scared to death of hell or because I wanted crowns in heaven… but because he is good.

Take note so i don’t have to explain it again.

Carolina Herrara, te amo.

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First: thanks for the Spotify invite Liz. I shall begin using shortly…

Over at the Heritage Blogger’s briefing today Sen. DeMint said that an important thing for conservatives to remember this election is to resist the urge to early adopt and early support any one member of the current field. You hear that Austen? DeMint says to wait and see. And so do I…

K. Davis linked this through our mutual friend Facebook. Dig it. K. Davis and Mr. Greene share a hometown.

Just for scuz. “You raise a valid and not at all uninteresting point.”

You are just cute as a damn button Harry Potter. I still don’t know how the selfish and mean ever identify with the character of the boy who lived but apparently they do…Maybe it’s that whole good/evil dichotomy. I suppose it is.

This song is so wonderfully beautiful and clunky. Just like the real thing.

Sparkles is coming Friday. I know some of you will be out of town and won’t get to meet her. I’m sorry for you. I really am.

Finally, so many points awarded for VIPness. Still makes me laugh and I seem to remember talk of a t-shirt…just sayin’…

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Most pressing:
My first visit to Spider Kelly’s in Arlington tomorrow for a sendoff to China and a happy birthday to the coach. Looking forward to it.

Other things:
Just the usual random and disconnected things. Find something useful if you can…

So, as I was doing a little work-related stuffity stuff yesterday something occurred to me regarding the Shareholder Protection Act that was scheduled to be introduced yesterday in the House and Senate, legislation that ostensibly provides to shareholders more say in how a corporation uses their stake in the company for political purposes. Because, I would assume, letting people control their money is the ultimate goal here. It’s just so strange that this theme isn’t really carried on through in other key policy decisions. “If you read between the lines, which doesn’t take much decoding … any income you have which you don’t “need” belongs to the government.” So, why the inconsistency? I think that’s a fair question…

Possibly the greatest news story ever. I mean, for real: “One of the latest outbreaks of Wal-Mart weirdness took place in June in Texas. A 5-foot 2-inch shopper and mother of two named Monique Lawless, who later told a reporter she was “sick of the lawlessness,” chased down three brothers after she spotted them allegedly running out of a store with stolen beer. Her actions, which included hopping up and down on the hood of a car, led to the arrest of the brothers, named Sylvester Thompson: Sylvester Andre Thompson, Sylvester Durlentren Thompson and Sylvester Primitivo Thompson. They couldn’t be reached for comment.”

Ali P. is at it again with a tremendous post on the USA women’s soccer team’s ass-kicking awesomeness lately. And, more to the point, what’s transcendent about it.



See if you can find the logic here. Because I really can’t.

Number 4.

Because he just keeps getting brought up, either as the writer/director of a film that inspired a song that led to a debate about the potential existence or non-existence of God and American founding principles, or because my Pops had a film called The Spanish Prisoner he thought I should see, or because his book about hitting the crossroads was suggested as a good read by the boys at work, here’s to you David Mamet. I think maybe serious thinkers and intellectuals just don’t fit inside a pre-defined box. And I dig it. (Magneto, that goes for the founders, too…)

We won our last regular season game folks. I enjoy beating Johns Hopkins. Why? Because their flag football team throws shoulders into people’s faces (and by “people” I mean “mine”). And then we celebrated. You know it’s a good night when you end up with Austen’s credit card in your purse. That the universal signal for “good time was had by all.” Coach’s recap follows. But first, the most awesome conversation I’ve had in some time that also ties in with a recent trip to Wolftrap to see Bela Fleck. Man I LOVE synchronicity.

“heh. no, i was explaining to someone at a happy hour recently that the banjo was brought over on slave ships and made out of African gourds and that’s how it evolved in the south. trying to explain the influence of the slave culture on country music. and when i was explaining it i looked at walters and matt hallissey was like — jokingly — “why did you just look at walters when you were talking about slave culture?” and walters was like, “uh, yeah. i ain’t never been no slave Sarah.” it was awesome.


Congrats on another successful CAN softball season. With our win over Johns Hopkins last night, we finish the season at 13-1. It’s hard to do much better than that. We were one extra-inning bushleague play away from a perfect 14-0. Something to strive for next year, I guess.

It was definitely a patchwork lineup, with people playing positions they don’t usually play, and a guy at third base that — I found out later — had never played third base before.

Our bats were pretty hot early, and we staked ourselves out to a five run lead going into the bottom of the first. After a little Keystone Cops defense, we nearly gave it all back. But we settled down and held them scoreless for the next three innings thanks to some solid pitching from Austen.

Austen also ended his homerless drought, but the play of the game on offense was Lynnsey’s discerning eye drawing a walk with two outs in the top of the 6th. It loaded the bases and kept the inning going, allowing us to tack on some much-needed insurance runs.

The defensive play of the game was probably the 6-4-3 game-ending — nay, SEASON-ending — double play. An assist should probably go to the runner who thought the game was already over and stopped running, but I’ll take it. And to top it off, we won Last Team Standing at the bar afterward. Even Kevin was there. So it was a solid ending to a great season.

Our next game is, well, in the tournament. Details on that to come.

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Family time was wonderful and intense (as usual). Good to get back to who you are. My brother Daniel sent me a few old pics he scanned and the first is a shot of me and all the sibs with most of our cousins on that side of the family. I saw nearly all of these people this weekend. Very cool. Also, notice in the pic that my cousins David and Lisa are sitting on my dad’s knees. Which accounts for the happy look on his face. Love. Also, music from the trip. Gotta love satellite radio. Finally, the softball team swept our double-header this weekend and, while I couldn’t be there, I requested they smack Auburn for knocking us out of the tournament last year. I got a text from Walters late in the day Saturday: “Mission accomplished.” Vandy apparently was a bit tougher but they managed to walk that one off as well. Anyway, Coach’s recap at the bottom. Because it’s funny and maybe you’ll think so, too. Disclosure: Walters is supernaturally fast. It’s an amazing thing to see. We have our last regular season game tonight and I have a new glove my brother let me borrow. Because mine is a tragedy. But this one has a marvelous pocket and should be a joy in the tournament. I’ll be back to writing “important” things later.

The 80s were a friend to nobody from a fashion perspective.

Dan playing horshoes...and getting beat by a girl.

The painting Dan made for me about 10 years ago. And my natural hair color.

Some of the boys.

G-ma and G-pa.

The 70s were a friend to nobody from a fashion perspective. Weird note: this is actually taken here in Maryland at the other G-parents. I know no one cares but me...


My favorite redhead about 10 years ago.

I’m not okay, I promise….

If I could tell the world just one thing…


Many thanks to everyone who played in the double-header this weekend. I aged another 20 years and sprouted a dozen or so new grey hairs, but we got the sweep nonetheless.

It seemed like we were in for a long day when, after the first inning, we were down 4-0 and had only managed one meager hit. It seemed like we were in for an even longer day when we were down 9-0 after TWO innings and had only managed TWO meager hits.

The shaggy hair of Vandy’s [REDACTED] surferboy pitcher flapped in the breeze, mocking us.

It was death by a thousand cuts. Of the 20 hits Vandy had in the first two innings, only two — TWO! — weren’t singles. They had 18 singles and two doubles.

Then in the third inning, we flipped a switch like Sylvester Stallone turning his hat backwards in an arm wrestling movie.

After some brilliant defensive positioning — i.e., putting Dan in the hole between shortstop and left field — Vandy didn’t score for the rest of the game, and we clawed our way back into the game a few runs at a time. We tied it in the bottom of the 6th, and then Longmire knocked an RBI single to score a streaking Walters (the ‘streaking’ is meant to imply his speed, not imply a lack of clothing) for our 4th walk-off win of the year and our 5th one-run win.

The game against Auburn was much less exciting, as we jumped out to an early lead and never trailed. I don’t think the tying run even came to the plate at any point during the game.
Thanks to Marieo for sending a junk pitcher in his absence. There’s something awesomely American about a former Marine throwing curveballs with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, wearing what looked like steel-toed construction boots.

With 12 wins, we secure our best regular season record ever with one game left. Should we win our last game, we’ll have done something very few teams in this league have ever done.

Speaking of which, our next and final regular season game is TOMORROW against Johns Hopkins. It looks like we’ll have enough to play, so I can stop badgering you guys to RSVP. The good news is everyone will get plenty of playing time. Field location is TBD, as usual, but, as usual, I expect to be playing across from the WWII Memorial. I’ll certainly let everyone know as soon as I hear from the other team.

In order to keep things separate and more digestible, I’ll be sending out a tournament-related e-mail shortly. So keep an eye out for that.

See, like, seven of you tomorrow.

Thanks and Go Dawgs.

Addendum: It has been brought to my attention that it was actually Austen who had the game-winning hit against Vandy. Longmire was just on base. That’s what I get for trying to write a recap without the scorebook. I just assumed Walters scored from first on a single out of pure determination.

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I’m on the road early in the morning heading back to Georgia for some much-needed family time. Because here’s how it shakes out: the family is my source. We talk a lot of trash and are meaner to each other than we’d ever let anyone else be to any one of us, but by God I know that every last one of those crazy people has my back. I miss knowing that for certain with people. I’d like to find it again in my new life here…More later — I’m busy — but for now: One of the only people who’s been truly nice to me in the past few weeks was a stranger in hot pink pumps. There are some notable exceptions among people I know but this woman had no reason for her kindness. Our business transaction had concluded and she just said sweet things. Also, I’m considering using the sentence in bold as the opening line in a book.

Rock it.

This is for Miss Lauren whom I hope to see in passing at the dance studio tonight. Because he was born in Little Rock…

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UPDATE: Question of the day via the Bang Rocker — and the one that has been on my mind since oh, about Friday of last week… “Does D.C. turn people into jerks who are only out for themselves or just attract jerks from all the other states?”

Well, are you not?

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Hi! So, for a few years in High School there was this girl who was really mean to me for no reason and worked really hard to get everyone to hate me (in fairness, I inadvertently helped make her job easier by introverting and acting all hurt and stupid all the time) because I think — and I can’t be sure of this because none of it ever really made sense to me but the spoils of her “victory” appeared related to this — she saw me as competition. Yeah, High School was dumb. I’m so glad things aren’t like that anymore.

Anyway, here’s a recap of the Colbert FEC thing I attempted to attend yesterday. Attempted is the key word there. I waited for about an hour in a line stretching down the block and it was totally my fault because I stepped out of line to make a phone call and, when they came out and stated they were full-up, I noticed that the folks I had been standing behind before I stepped out of line were long through the door. They began herding folks into another section so technically I could have still attended but at that point I was more focused on the other work obligations I had made for the day so I cut my losses and came into the office. I was briefed by one of my co-workers upon crossing the office threshold that the whole thing had been exceedingly anti-climactic. 15 minutes of talking and Colbert “won” his media exemption for Viacom. You can read here why the win is really anything but. Unless you consider that Colbert, as was mentioned to me this morning, is really just in it for the money. Which brings me to my first real insight on the situation:

If he is just in it for the money — and it would appear that is the case because he’s actually doing damage to the progressive cause he purports to stand for (out of character) — seriously, read this — then maybe you kids shouldn’t take the punditry seriously. I know it feels like you’re being very clever because you can say that the flopping back and forth from comedian to pundit, from ha-ha to serious, is at your whim and that’s the genius of it. But those are the soft victories of children, pretty meaningless in the long run and prone to causing damage. Again, please read this.

My other insight is just one of human nature, both from a personal perspective and as a third-party observer. For a minute, when it was announced they were shutting the doors to the main room, I felt that weird “I didn’t get in…” shame. I was not counted among the popular kids. Yeah, I know. No further narrative is required to explain how ridiculous that is.

Also, while waiting in line, a young girl ahead of me — who made it through the doors, by the way — who had been anxiously watching the press on the street and the tinted-windowed SUVs in front of the building in the hopes that Colbert would get close enough for her to “touch him,” was approached by a journalist from National Journal Magazine. As a former reporter, it’s always interesting to watch how some journalists lead their sources down the primrose path and this particular journalist just had this kid eating out of her understanding hands. “Do you know why he’s here today?” the journalist asked.

I won’t go into her response. You’ve heard it before. Suffice to say, she had no clue. And perhaps Colbert has been successful in opening up a new world to her — I doubt she would have visited the FEC otherwise. So, there’s that glint of silver. I just wish in opening up the door he didn’t crowd the entryway with a ton of bullshit these kids have to step over to actually know what’s going on. And, I’m spent. Saving my energy to visit the National Harbor tomorrow and do some log rolling. You think I’m kidding, don’t you? Never underestimate…

Happy Fourth ya’ll. I’m attending a feast where my jalapeno cornbread was actually requested. It’s the little things man. For real.

Also, danced to this last night. It was glorious.

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