Archive for June, 2011

‘Sup? So, I have this last little bit of time to goof off and be irresponsible (read: clean my house and do laundry) before checking in to the new place of employment Monday. So, in an effort to just absorb every last bit of free time, here’re some non-sensicals. I actually am conducting an interview in a few so I’m kinda working. Will have a link to that piece if it runs somewhere…Till then my lovelies:

This makes me want to get married. Just so I can have someone to pretend to be mad at, and legitimately should be, but instead spend my time fighting the urge to just crack up at their silliness. That sounds fun to me.

I’m in. It looks fantastic.

With no disrespect to my friends who have an interest here, this seems like it pretty much diplomatically nails it.

Love. So so much.

I want to go to there. Did I ever mention my absolute love and obsession with all things waterslide/waterpark related? It’s borderline pathological. And I haven’t had a good day at the waterpark in many, many years. Oh White Water in Atlanta, how I miss you. I need to find a water park here…

This cracked me up. And does every time I read it.

Finally, I just like this. Hope you do as well.

The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you – daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into hitch hiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

Nestling quietly on top of the towel in Ford Prefect’s satchel, the Sub-Etha Sens-O-Matic began to wink more quickly. Miles above the surface of the planet the huge yellow somethings began to fan out. At Jodrell Bank, someone decided it was time for a nice relaxing cup of tea.

“You got a towel with you?” said Ford Prefect suddenly to Arthur.

Arthur, struggling through his third pint, looked round at him.

“Why? What, no … should I have?” He had given up being surprised, there didn’t seem to be any point any longer.

Ford clicked his tongue in irritation.

“Drink up,” he urged.

They are also quite useful when needing to wipe the floor of the ridiculous amounts of sweat you shed during dance class warm up, technique and stretching so as not to break, nor cause anyone else to break, an ankle during turns across the floor. Just FYI.

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I’m having the strangest feeling something’s happened. Something significant. Don’t get me wrong; not significant to anyone but me probably but something…call it instinct or madness but it’s too strong to ignore. However, I’m just going to wait to hear what it is rather than seek out answers…I know, I know. You can laugh behind my back if you want. Doesn’t make it any less true.

In any event, I have some days left before I start the new gig and that’s a great feeling: to know I have something I’m heading toward but to be able to relax a little before diving in. As a friend noted, it’s like summer vacation. I do, however, have some studying to do before I start. I’ll consider it my summer reading list.

And until then, diversions. As always.

My apologies to my sister but this is just too good not to mention. My mother has a sassy gay friend. I’m so jealous. She’s been visiting a chiropractor and has apparently become the belle of the office to the degree that recently, on her birthday, the gentlemen and their staff gave her a chocolate birthday cake with pink icing, which she gushed about to my sister. She has found a friend to whom she can spill all the stories about the grandkids, etc. It’s really wonderful. For you momma. The SGF just cracks me up.:

Dig it. Seriously.

Also, this feature in the AV Club is wicked cool. Visiting pop culture landmarks is like collecting memorabilia in a way. A more expensive way but nonetheless…Anyway, the story about Dylan is so wonderful I’m giving you one of his best to remind you of the kind of brain the man had. This song is sheer poetry and if you disagree with me I’d suggest you never voice it because I’d fight over a Dylan insult. And my sister taught me how to fight. You don’t want to go there.

And just to stay somewhat relevant, some newer music from a British group that sounds a lot like Pavement.

Finally, our coach’s recap. I’ll probably get in trouble for posting this but I just think it’s funny and I’m proud of my little rec league, co-ed softball team. We have a good time. And we will miss you Roepke. Come back and visit soon…

Bear with me. This e-mail is a long one. But I like to think it’s worth it, so here goes:

Thanks to everyone — and I do mean everyone — who made it out to the game on Friday. My fingernails still haven’t grown back, but it was a hell of a game and a great send off for Ann.
We started off strong, putting up six runs in the first inning. Our bats cooled off considerably afterward, but we maintained a lead throughout most of the game.

Our defense was quite…Dickensian. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There were great plays by Marieo, walters, Nikki, Sarah, and others. But due to the almost humorously poor field conditions, there were also some plays that could’ve been dubbed over with Yakety Sax (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ). Routine hits to the outfield became triples and homeruns; balls on the infield would take circus hops, and then no hops at all; and the hops we DID get were unpredictable. If this game had been played at Goddard, it would’ve ended 4-3.

Nonetheless, we held our own until the 5th inning when Ohio took a one-run lead. We added five runs in the 6th and Marieo tacked on a solo HR in the 7th to give us a five-run lead going into the bottom of the inning. And we would need every bit of it.

Ohio proceeded to dink and dunk us to death, taking advantage of the aforementioned Yakety Sax field conditions. They managed four runs to start the inning, but thanks to a pop out and an outfield assist from Chris Walters to Will Perkins, we had two outs with runners on the corners.

Our outfield was playing incredibly (at the time, ridiculously) deep. Austen was set up near Independence Ave., Walters was wading in the WWII Memorial fountain, Nikki was between the statues in the Korean War memorial, and Michael was in the courtyard of the State Department. (If you weren’t at the game, you’re not going to get the joke, but that’s just more motivation to attend.)

The batter for Ohio proceeded to hit a little flair over shortstop. It looked destined for grass when a red and black blur came streaking up from the WWII Memorial with a roadrunner-esque dust cloud behind it. As it turns out, Walters can cover some ground in the outfield. He made a lunging catch to end the game, and was carried off the field on the shoulders of his adoring fans. At least I think that’s what happened. I passed out, so I missed a few minutes.

For some perspective on how much ground Walters had to cover to catch the ball, the runner of first was probably the slowest player on the team. Walters was in a dead sprint from the crack of the bat, and the baserunner was halfway between second and third when the catch was made.

This was our hardest test of the season thus far, and we passed. I wouldn’t say we passed with flying colors, but we got the job done. And it was truly a team effort. We had 19 players show up, and played 16. Those of you that didn’t get into the game, that’s my fault. But everyone who showed up got credit toward their tournament eligibility.

We have eight games left, so everyone still has plenty of time to meet the five game requirement.

As proud as I am four our game attendance, I’m equally as proud of our bar attendance. We had 20+ people (and a dog) at the game, and even more at the bar. We represented ourselves well. And, like I said about 600 words ago, we had a nice sendoff for Ann. I just wanted to take a minute to thank Ann for her contributions to the team over the years. Ann actually joined the team before I did, so she’s one of the more senior members of the DC Dawgs. She may have gone to Iowa State, but she takes more pride in UGA than most alums I know. She was also one of the most consistent players we could ask for. There are three certainties in life: Death, taxes, and Ann is coming to the softball game. She saved us from many-a forfeit over the years, and had the added bonus of being a good player. Oh, and then there were the jello shots and sandwiches. There’s definitely going to be an Ann-shaped hole in the team for a long time. But we wish her the best of luck in her Fightin’ Irish endeavors.

Our next games are this weekend against Florida and Maryland — another big test for us. We always want to beat Florida, and Maryland is a perennial powerhouse and a win against them would go a long way toward getting us the respect we’re after. I’ll send out more details as they become available.

Thanks and Go Dawgs

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Going to play softball. Come down and see if you’d like. 17th st. in front of the WWII memorial. It’s a big game for us. We’ll take your support. Also, I need to run around and remember that there are places inside that are perpetually childlike and that the buttheads of the world will never reach. Stupid buttheads. Go find something else to do already. Ya bore me kid, ya hear?

So, here’s to the coming game and, undoubtedly, the festivities after…

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