John Tucker must die…

While I’m not unfamilar with the stalker — the weird, middle-aged guy who lurks around the card shop you work at, somehow manages to get your phone number and begins calling your house, prompting your father to start threatening to take the shotgun off the wall; or the professor who remarks how much he likes your freckles and starts showing up outside every class you have asking you to have coffee with him; or the ex-boyfriend who was mildy abusive and extremely prone to philandering, who moves into your neighborhood and drops by on occasion with tomatoes as a “reconciliation gift” (which is nice but, dude, three years of torture was enough…) — I had always assumed the “psycho ex-girlfriend” variety was a way for men to be dismissive of some girl they no longer wanted a relationship with.

I have, of late, changed my mind. I’m sad to say, the psycho ex-girlfriend does exist, and apparently does not require much of a prior relationship to be vengeful. Gentlemen, I apologize for doubting you…

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John Tucker must die…

While I’m not unfamilar with the stalker — the weird, middle-aged guy who lurks around the card shop you work at, somehow manages to get your phone number and begins calling your house, prompting your father to start threatening to take the shotgun off the wall; or the professor who remarks how much he likes your freckles and starts showing up outside every class you have asking you to have coffee with him; or the ex-boyfriend who was mildy abusive and extremely prone to philandering, who moves into your neighborhood and drops by on occasion with tomatoes as a “reconciliation gift” (which is nice but, dude, three years of torture was enough…) — I had always assumed the “psycho ex-girlfriend” variety was a way for men to be dismissive of some girl they no longer wanted a relationship with.

I have, of late, changed my mind. I’m sad to say, the psycho ex-girlfriend does exist, and apparently does not require much of a prior relationship to be vengeful. Gentlemen, I apologize for doubting you…

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This is why your party is quickly losing relevance

For the party that screams the loudest about everybody having their say and how the Muslims are people too, the Democrats jumped the freakin’ shark when they couldn’t bother to even show up for the Iraqian (ahem) address to Congress. Um, aren’t you at least curious about what they have to say about what’s happening in their region? Elitist bastards…

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This is why your party is quickly losing relevance

For the party that screams the loudest about everybody having their say and how the Muslims are people too, the Democrats jumped the freakin’ shark when they couldn’t bother to even show up for the Iraqian (ahem) address to Congress. Um, aren’t you at least curious about what they have to say about what’s happening in their region? Elitist bastards…

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Obsession with Loverboy and a Presidential meal on a former Airplane

There are so many Friday things I want to talk about that I’m getting twitchy —

1. This picture that Lord Somber sent me that I thought was funny as hell (because senses of humor are important).

2. A documentary called Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West, a film heralded as such by such a man:

“Viewing this documentary should hereafter be considered a prerequisite for participating in the debate about the national security challenges we face, and what must be done to address them.

The full dimensions of that War for the Free World are laid bare in Obsession from an extraordinary array of sources.”

Frank J. Gaffney Jr.
Center for Security Policy, Washington Times, War Footing.com, Renew America, Military.com
Frank J. Gaffney Jr. is president of the Center for Security Policy and a columnist for The Washington Times.

3. My conversation with Lord Somber last night that led me to remember the time my first — and perhaps best — best friend Chris Wilson and his buddies built a skate ramp and Little Sara and I put our stamp on it by writing “We built this city on rock n’ roll” from the Jefferson Starship song. Little Sara thought I was the coolest for coming up with that. Man were we dorks.

4. The same conversation with Lord Somber that clarified for me, for the first time, the worst song lyrics ever written: “You want a piece of my heart?/You better start from the start./You wanna be in the show?/Come on baby let’s go!/Everybody’s working for the weekend!”

Loverboy might just be evil…

Happy, happy, Friday, Friday!

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Obsession with Loverboy and a Presidential meal on a former Airplane

There are so many Friday things I want to talk about that I’m getting twitchy —

1. This picture that Lord Somber sent me that I thought was funny as hell (because senses of humor are important).

2. A documentary called Obsession: Radical Islam’s War Against the West, a film heralded as such by such a man:

“Viewing this documentary should hereafter be considered a prerequisite for participating in the debate about the national security challenges we face, and what must be done to address them.

The full dimensions of that War for the Free World are laid bare in Obsession from an extraordinary array of sources.”

Frank J. Gaffney Jr.
Center for Security Policy, Washington Times, War Footing.com, Renew America, Military.com
Frank J. Gaffney Jr. is president of the Center for Security Policy and a columnist for The Washington Times.

3. My conversation with Lord Somber last night that led me to remember the time my first — and perhaps best — best friend Chris Wilson and his buddies built a skate ramp and Little Sara and I put our stamp on it by writing “We built this city on rock n’ roll” from the Jefferson Starship song. Little Sara thought I was the coolest for coming up with that. Man were we dorks.

4. The same conversation with Lord Somber that clarified for me, for the first time, the worst song lyrics ever written: “You want a piece of my heart?/You better start from the start./You wanna be in the show?/Come on baby let’s go!/Everybody’s working for the weekend!”

Loverboy might just be evil…

Happy, happy, Friday, Friday!

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Swatting the gnat

“We have 2,000 volunteers who have registered since last year,” said Iranian Hizbollah’s spokesman Mojtaba Bigdeli, speaking by telephone from the central seminary city of Qom.

“They have been trained and they can become fully armed. We are ready to dispatch them to every corner of the world to jeopardise Israel and America’s interests. We are only waiting for the Supreme Leader’s green light to take action. If America wants to ignite World War Three … we welcome it,” he said.

Does use of the term “Supreme Leader” automatically disqualify these freaks from being taken seriously because of the almost exact semantic reference to the fascist bad guys in Star Wars? They parody themselves and they seem tragically unaware of this fact. However, they can cause some real damage, as ridiculous as they are. What to do…?

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Swatting the gnat

“We have 2,000 volunteers who have registered since last year,” said Iranian Hizbollah’s spokesman Mojtaba Bigdeli, speaking by telephone from the central seminary city of Qom.

“They have been trained and they can become fully armed. We are ready to dispatch them to every corner of the world to jeopardise Israel and America’s interests. We are only waiting for the Supreme Leader’s green light to take action. If America wants to ignite World War Three … we welcome it,” he said.

Does use of the term “Supreme Leader” automatically disqualify these freaks from being taken seriously because of the almost exact semantic reference to the fascist bad guys in Star Wars? They parody themselves and they seem tragically unaware of this fact. However, they can cause some real damage, as ridiculous as they are. What to do…?

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The State thanks you for your patronage

Stolen from The Grouchy Old Cripple. You can see why I’m so popular…

Ed. Note: while generally I try not to offer excuses or rationalizations, I have to say that the Grouchy Old Cripple is more hard-core than I am. I read him like I read Salon.com: somewhere in the more moderate middle is the truth. I get mis-associated frequently so I’m trying to be a little more diligent about my — ahem — reputation.

But the GOC can be really funny…

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Movin’ right along

My mother always says that people have the public face but that it lies. You never really know what’s going on inside. Is it dangerous to have the same face for public and private? It would appear, statistically, that humanity thinks that it is.

I digress.

I need to commend Mr. Cameron Crowe for having the balls to be sappy in a world that increasingly dismisses the necessity of the heart tug. And anyone who celebrates my all-time second favorite song in the world, Mancini’s “Moon River,” gets a cookie.

I liked this movie. Perseverance is a great theme.

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