Archive for November, 2005

Dr. David Thorpe of Something Awful is once again dead-on. His love for the scenesters shines in every passionate click of the keyboard…. This is what a real punk rocker looks like…

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Sam was indeed the man

I know that come this weekend I’ll be drinking another toast to the death of a special creature that brought joy to those who knew him. I’ve done this several times in the past, usually when I find out that some great musical hero of mine has gone to the light (I think Johnny Cash may have been the last one) or someone I used to know and remembered fondly. But this, this touches me in a different way. I can’t help but laugh till I cry when I look at Sam. And that’s a really great emotion, as Dolly Parton (!) so wisely says in Steel Magnolias, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” Mine too, Dolly. So I raise my glass in thanks to you Sam. You da man!

Rest in peace you goofy little creature.

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Man. Talk about jumping the shark. The Daily Pundit posts this little gem (where Quick obtained this audio file I’ll never know…) that is proof-positive of the shenanigans over at CNN. I guess all the faux concern and perfectly coiffed anchors couldn’t instill the sense of security over there that would prevent them from protesting too much, as The Bard might say. I feel kinda bad for them really. But damn, man. What supervisor let an operator do this sort of thing? The operator was fired by the way, which, in my opinion is the true tragedy. He was just riding for the brand, ya know? But they cut him loose quick. I guess you can think it but not talk about it. I don’t know if that’s tact or just plain loosey-goosey political gesturing. It just doesn’t feel smooth to me…

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Found this link on one of my favorite right-wing sites www.commonsensewonder.com. It’s about how cheap those bastard moralists in Hollywood can be. Delightfully funny….

“Hey, I’m Sean Penn and I’m a cheap bastard!”

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Talk about Big Brother

Wireless covering most of the Earth’s surface is very cool from a technological standpoint. But then a little creepy, too….

Wired has the scoop.

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A friend sent me this heartbreaking link to Cindy Sheehan, the woman who’s crusade against the war in Iraq (and more specifically against the Bush administration) has made her a hero in some eyes. The leftist activists (I don’t know what else to call them — that is all they really seem to have in common within their group) rallied around this woman’s story — a son dead in Iraq and her projected rage onto an administration that she shadowboxed for the death of her son. And she was everywhere, this tragic figure. Chaining herself to the White House gate, protesting outside the President’s ranch in Texas. She was pissed you see.

And then, as is always the case with the showmanship of American activism (sad but true) she lost her following once she began to really side with those who would martyr her. Once she became as rabid as they, she couldn’t get heard. the pupil becomes the teacher and that job has already been filled.

So here she sits waiting for her disciples to come and have her sign a copy of the book in which she writes her story with all it’s rage and misguided blame. I wonder if they ever came.

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the death of ugly

thanks again Bored Athenians for alerting me to a link that begged to be stolen. and here he is, the ugliest dog:


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Martha Shmartha

To my Thanksgiving Guests,

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I’m telling you in advance, so don’t act surprised.Since Ms. Stewart won’t be coming, I’ve made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I’m sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 AM upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As accompaniment to the children’s recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don’t own a recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We’ve also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress “private” meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice: take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Year.

She probably won’t come next year either.

I Am Thankful!!!

(stolen from a thanksgiving e-card)

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Bored but active

Thanks to Evil Overload for this post:

“What do Albania, Armenia, Australia, Azerbaijan, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Czech Republic, Denmark, El Salvador, Estonia, Georgia, Italy, Japan, Kazakhstan, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, Macedonia, Mongolia, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Romania, Slovakia, United Kingdom, and Ukraine all have in common?”….

Check out his site Bored Athenians to learn the truth.

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