Sunday Sunday SUNDAY!

Before we begin, there’s something very important I must tell you: Lawry’s Seasoned Salt is really, really good on hard-boiled eggs. Remember it.

I’m writing today because I won’t be tomorrow and sometimes I just like to write if I find funny things or have amazingly PROFOUND thoughts that may help the world navigate this boat through the turbulent waters of humanity! (heh). Also, the Falcons play today and I’m excited.

On a seemingly unrelated (but not totally since I’m sure it’s what I’ll be having later) note, here’s what I love about Blue Moons — they never, EVER, give me hangovers. I don’t know if that’s because I can only drink like 3 before I hear myself slurring and saying inappropriate things or because the orange slice as condiment is hydrating. Whatever it is, they are the wheaty jelly to my body chemistry roll. I’ve also really been enjoying Leinenkugel’s Berry Weiss of late. Clearly I like the wheat and fruit rather than a ton of barley and hops. I remember when I met my Uncle at a bar in Germany — where I was traveling and he was stationed at the time — we had a very black, very stouty German beer. I drank it but have never become a fan. I don’t know why I mention it except that last night, while drinking my Blue Moons, I had some really excellent thoughts because my mind was clear due to not having to chew my beer. One of those thoughts was summed up perfectly by this lady for me this morning and, while I’m sure I’ll write my own words later on down the road if the mood strikes, I’ll just let this speak for now:

Let the sporking commence…

I like Insane Mom. She cracks me up frequently. Here’s another gem that made me laugh aloud because, really, who hasn’t had the turmoil of dealing with a slutty cat? I know I have. Mine’s more testy than whiny if you know what I mean (and I think you do…):

A’ight, moving on. Because focusing too much on the ridiculous games of puffed-up children (the ones who need taint sporking), who will, sadly, make some pretty serious mistakes because they believe they have even an inkling about anything other than their own selfish, solipsistic needs, is depressing and dissatisfying and today is a day for Falcons football, as mentioned. So be gone juveniles who bond over a shared need to be angry at the world. Because frankly, you get on my fucking nerves. Also, I don’t find you all that smart. It’s really easy to troll Buzzfeed or Wired or whatever it is you do to find the breaking “hip” thing you’re supposed to like and then “liking it first!” Jesus. Get an organic interest already. It must be exhausting having to like something because you’re “supposed” to like it. I thought only the stereotypical “popular” kids did that. I guess the bitter former nerds do it, too. Man, I hate that I’m back in high school…it’s being remedied…

But here are a few things to consider as you go about this ridiculously beautiful day. My God but I have to just get out and walk around in it…

My Mom added me on G+. I fully expect to be taken to task even more for my foul mouth.

It’s really not that uncommon. You just have to have a sense of humor about it and not act like a dick. Some folks are incapable of either of those. Trust me on that. Cause I know.

Fringe is enjoyable. My friend Bob has been watching from the beginning and she’s like, “It gets weirder. You just have to stick with it.” My response: “Josh Jackson is balls hot. Shouldn’t be too hard to keep watching.”

Um, James McAvoy and Danny Boyle. That’s all I’m saying.

Great article but, on principle, I cannot agree. Props, however, for using quantum physics to deduce the Falcons chances. I may have to start reading this guy regularly…

The NFC’s title match features two top-seeds, as the Falcons host the 49ers. Atlanta, a great city, will see their blackbirds lose. There’s no chance for a club once the fans and media have begun calling it a “team of destiny.” Not kidding. Nothing good has ever come from a bunch of football players thinking that their ultimate victory has been written in the stars. Besides, the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics suggests that there is no such thing as anyone having a single destiny. According to that theory of ever-expanding universes, we all are creating an infinite number of new destinies for ourselves at any given instant.

So this means that alternate realities may exist where the Falcons’ defense is able halt 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick. Perhaps you are living in one of them. In my reality, the star rookie QB has been unstoppable in San Francisco’s throwback option-style offense. Against the Packers last week, Kaepernick was harder to pin down than Schrodinger’s Cat. His devastating pair of long touchdown runs included a 56-yard scamper off an ancient play that guys who played in leather helmets would have called “a keeper.”

Good article. And the other benefit about treating people like human beings is that you don’t suck beyond the telling of it and they don’t feel like crap all the time. I mean, have you ever worked in a place where everyone feels undervalued and insecure? I have. It’s torture being at work under those conditions. Why would you want to foster it?

My Slavic ancestors are calling me home. Expect me to ask you to come along…

So here’s how it’s looking: Deadspin — one of the sites owned by the rapacious and ethically questionable Gawker media group — broke an embarrassing story about a naive, sweet kid who lied because he didn’t know what else to do when he found out he was a dupe. Deadspin probably became aware of this pretty quickly and, instead of quietly reporting that and showing a little class and humanity, began announcing in increasingly vituperative tones, that Te’o MUST HAVE KNOWN because who could possibly be that stupid?! The big-hearted and kind are pretty stupid like that. The cynical of the world have such a hard time believing it (and this is where they get duped. Which is usually pretty funny.). Of course I know I could be wrong — and I’ll cop to that if it turns out he’s an evil mastermind who used the fabrication to advance his career — but I don’t think that’s the case here. Because former Deadspin head guy Will Lietch (a great read back in the Black Table days. One of the first sites I got kind of religious about visiting…) starts his piece on the kerfluffel by basically defending Deadspin. Before anyone has made an accusation. And that tells us all we need to know.

Heh. Jennifer Lawrence is alright in my book.

Find your own music today. You can do it.