Hey kids. How’s everyone’s good Friday? Good? That’s good. Mine’s been spent writing for a project I’m working on. Super glamorous, I know. But it suits me. Keeps me from focusing on the Jekyll/Hyde stuff going on around me at present. A new acquaintance asked me recently why I’ve stayed single for so long. Sigh, that question. Again. But it’s been coming up a lot lately and my stock answer is always the kid thing. The men I’ve dated seriously just weren’t ones I wanted to have children with. I’m sure they are for others, but I’m pretty picky when it comes to what I’ll subject a child — hell, even an animal — to, and I’m sort of like my brother John who told me once that he didn’t see the point of getting married if not to have kids. I’m aware of the financial benefits, sure. But, and especially in light of what I’ve seen of people who marry just to do it, that’s never seemed a great trade-off for me personally. There’s a decent argument that I don’t care enough about money. That’s valid. My co-worker/boss is always like “Stop working for free!” So there’s probably room to reconsider some things in that regard. But the the Jekyll/Hyde thing is increasingly something I’m having to admit is also a major player in what keeps me detached.
There are relationships on my periphery that are contributing to this mindset. One in particular just seems to blow hot and cold on a consistent basis, and sometimes I take the brunt of the fallout because I have a business relationship with the couple. I deal more directly with the man, and he and I get on pretty well for the most part. But I swear there are times when things just get goofy and I feel like I’m some surrogate punching bag for whatever’s going on in his marriage and it freaks me out. I mean it really freaks me. Because for the most part, I don’t like most people (picky about who I let in at all, in fact) getting too close to me — judge away. It’s weird but I own it. — and so I don’t even know much about the particulars of their relationship. I just know when things are bad because I get talked to a different way. And it’s not pleasant. And frankly, it kind of pisses me off. I mean come on man, deal with your stuff without beating down someone who can’t defend herself because she doesn’t even know what the hell’s going on. And, because you’re married, I can’t get in there and dig around and try to help. It’s inappropriate for me to do that. I feel for you — I know how hellish relationship problems can be. Trust me on that one. But I can’t help you with this one. The best thing I can do is remain unaffected and try to vent out how cruddy it makes me feel in the only way I can, which tends to be writing about it.
I talk to my brothers about this kind of thing and they always counsel me that bad women can make an otherwise kind and decent man kind of a beast. And they’re right. I’ve seen what they’ve been through so I know that’s true. But, with respect to my awesome protectors, the men have a responsibility here, too. Their choice of mate is on them — like when you, my loves, in your younger years, chose not to see past the superficial and outward pretty and examine the characters of the women who ended up being sources of great pain and life-altering circumstances. No one made you look past the red flags. In fact, I think there was probably some effort to point them out. And I get that once the commitment has been made, and especially if there are children involved (“Why have you stayed single for so long?”), things get much tougher, but it cannot be one-sided. It is never totally the fault of one person. So yes, a selfish woman can turn a man. But a man willing to look past those qualities bears at least 50% of the weight. And, for the love of pete, he is remiss in taking out that weight on some unsuspecting woman who’s just trying to live her life and find her own way without being dragged into some relationship turmoil that has nothing, and never will have anything, to do with her. In the past few months or so I’ve felt the need (even if I didn’t actually do it) to reassure no less than 4 women that I’m not interested in their relationships except that I happen to know and am friendly or have a business relationship with their significant other. And frankly, ladies, I’m tired of that. And a little offended you think so little of me. And to the gentlemen — your ladies need some attention. Take care of that, would you please?
Finally, is it really so wrong to throw your hands up and be done when the dismissive behavior starts because that’s what the jealousy demands? I don’t give up on people unless they give up on me. But when a respect line is crossed — and in the best cases you hope it’s temporary — sometimes you must be done just to preserve some integrity and self-respect. So, forgive me, but don’t be like Vivian Kensington in Legally Blonde who gets the wrong idea about the law professor at the end. Because you don’t know what’s transpired and what’s been discussed and what’s been said. Reserve your judgment. Because you could be really wrong.
Alright, I need to correct something I wrote in my last blog post. I said 2/3rd of the economy when I was talking about Obamacare and I meant 1/6th. But, now that I think about it, given the auto industry stuff, and the bank bailouts, and the Union stuff, and the housing bubble (which is linked to this progressive ideology) and etc and et al, 2/3rds might not be too far off base.
Putin and game theory. Meh. Because, as this writer notes, the tautological outcome of Crimea is not proof that Putin is smarter. Succeeding sometimes means rolling the dice and getting lucky. He recognized a weakness and struck. Good strategy, sure. But not some guaranteed master plan.
Good Lord, has it come to this? That weird dude I used to know who was a big fan of eugenics must be super duper excited right about now. How can we simultaneously be thinking that too many people are incarcerated for stupid reasons and think that sterilizing women prisoners is a good idea? It’s the inconsistency that kills me.
This lady cracks me up. And I gotta say, of all the characters in DC, Hill staffers are the ones I’d be least interested in seeing how they go about their daily business. There are far more complex and interesting personalities doing important work to choose from.
This was pretty sobering. I’m not paranoid to this degree but the alliance building has been on my mind.
Worth a read. If for no other reason to drive home the idea that there was a need to fix something that wasn’t actually out of line with what they decided was the solution. Which is just kind of weird.
Oswalt is no where even close to conservative so this is very encouraging. Because it’s okay to disagree without needing to shut people down.
Best prank ever. Seriously. I love this so much.
I dreamed about this mean-ass little cocker I knew as a kid last night. God that dog was insane, and I tend to be pretty chill with most dogs, so I looked it up. This is wholly unsurprising.
“The argument is between conservatives who say American politics is basically about a condition, liberty, and progressives who say it is about a process, democracy.”
This is probably not a good thing. I’m waiting to hear that it makes people sterile or prone to stripping naked and jumping off buildings.
Alright, I’m gonna watch some baseball. Y’all be good.